Taking Turns Is a Skill Little Kids Can Learn Through Play

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You have seen this one. Two kids, one ball. Your child hands it over, waits about four seconds, and then really, really wants it back. You say the words every parent says. We take turns. We share. It is his turn now. And your child is still learning what those words mean.

Here is a happy little secret. Waiting for a turn is a skill your child is still building, and it is one of the biggest ones young kids learn. Once you see it that way, every little wait starts looking like practice.

Why waiting takes practice at this age

A young child lives almost entirely in right now. When they want something, the wanting fills up the whole room. The part of the brain that helps a person hold on, sit with a feeling, and trust that the good thing is still coming is one of the last parts to develop. It keeps growing well into the teenage years. So when your three year old wants the ball back after sixty seconds, that is right on track. They are being three.

There is a second reason too. To a young child, a turn that is out of sight feels far away. Every time the ball does come back, they collect a little evidence. That evidence is what turns into patience.

Four ways to practice at home

1. Give the wait a job. A busy wait is an easy wait. Ask your child to count your hits out loud, to hold the extra ball, to be the one who yells "go," or to clap for you. A child with something to do is playing, and their turn arrives in no time.
2. Make turns short and fast at first. Ten quick turns of five seconds each teaches far more than two turns of a minute. Short turns give your child repeated proof that the ball always comes back. As the trust builds, you can stretch the turns out. Start where your child can succeed and build from there.
3. Say the feeling out loud before you say the rule. "You really want it right now, that is hard" does more than "we take turns." Naming the feeling makes a child feel understood, and a child who feels understood can hear the rest of the sentence. Once the feeling is named, add the plan. "You want it now. It is my turn, then it is your turn. Watch for two hits."
4. Practice with people who are easy first. Turn taking with a parent is far easier than turn taking with another child, because you can make your own turn short and cheerful on purpose. Get it working at home with you, then with a sibling or a cousin, then in a group. By then, a room full of kids feels easy and fun.

What it looks like as they grow

From 18 months to about 2 years and 11 months, a child mostly needs turns to be nearly instant, with a grownup right there guiding the handoff. At this age, sharing starts small. Expect handing something over with help, which is the first step.

Between 3 and 5, real turn taking starts to click, especially when the wait has a job attached to it. Some days it clicks more than others. Tired days are part of it, and the skill comes right back.

By four and five, most kids can wait through a whole game, keep track of whose turn it is, and even remind a friend. This is where taking turns quietly turns into teamwork, and you will notice it on the court, in the classroom and at the dinner table.

How our classes build it through play

Every Ready Set Rackets class is a flow of quick games the whole group plays together, led by a coach out front, with Racky, our friendly paddle mascot, turning each game into a fun challenge. Everyone plays at once. Kids are moving, counting, cheering and swinging almost the entire time, so the small waits that do happen are short, busy and easy to handle.

That is the quiet reason group racket play works so well at this age. Your child practices waiting dozens of times in one class without anyone announcing a rule about it. Families at our 45+ partner locations in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Florida and Texas tell us the change shows up at home first, usually with a sibling.

We group by age so the games match the body in front of us. Ready Tots runs from 18 months to 2 years and 11 months with a grownup on the floor. Ready Athletes covers ages 3 to 5. Every child gets the white band on day one and collects the next color at the end of every session, just for playing. As your child grows, Universal Rackets junior programs are the next step.

Ready to let your child practice all of this somewhere fun? Find a class near you and we will bring the rackets, the soft balls and the energy. Want more at-home ideas first? Grab our free "Ready, Set, Play!" parent guide. Preschool directors and rec departments, we come to you and bring everything: learn about hosting Ready Set Rackets.